(1) Trauma 101: What the heck is trauma?
This might just be the most accessible publication on trauma theory.
Let’s get something out in the open:
The journey to healing often begins with an involuntary push,
be it from the family we are born into, from the ‘chosen/self-created family’, the external forces of circumstances or societal biases.
Until we make a conscious choice.
Read the following publication in a quiet space where you can envision the characters you will meet. Befriend them, empathize with them, understand the theory behind them.
Generally, trauma is defined as a complex and deeply personal experience that is a response to an overwhelmingly distressing event, or series of events.
The key note here is that these events often exceed the individual’s ability to cope, leading to profound emotional, psychological and physical consequences.
For the sake of better understanding, meet the main characters - Johnny, his older sister Kate and their oldest brother Bob. (Couldn’t come up with more generic names).
Chapter 1: LITTLE JOHNNY
To some, the scene may even feel idyllic. The air is filled with the scent of freshly cut grass as the warmth of the day embraces whoever has chosen to appreciate its rays.
If you happen to walk in the dark-roofed neighbourhood, you may not be able to miss the contrast between the tinted background and the many cars, rolling in and out like marbles.
Little Johnny is playing outside his family house, engaged in the afternoon activity of playing football. As he eagerly sets up the makeshift goalposts and arranges the teams, Johnny can already picture kicking the ball and scoring the winning goal. Oh, the cheers and applauses of his imaginary fans!
A sudden screech pieces the tranquillity.
A deafening crash of metal against metal.
Did a car crash into the sun?
Chaos. Shattered glass. Twisted metal. Smoke. Wreckage. Haze. Dust. Debris. Sirens. Closer. Red. Red. Red. Sun.
Rooted to the spot, in the middle of his stadium, little Johnny has locked his eyes on the scene.
He is a witness.
Acute Trauma, or ‘Big T’:
Acute trauma (also called ‘Big T’) is a one-time distressing event that affects you. It is often sudden, intense and overwhelming. It can be a car accident, physical assault, or violence.
For some, even childbirth. Unbelievable, right? Yes, because it is seldom discussed.
Being witness to such an event, meaning not being directly ‘affected’ by it, does not exclude the possibility of acute trauma.
Once the event happens, then what?
A professional should (in theory…) examine the intensity, focus and response.
Intensity determines the severity of the physical, mental and/or emotional impact.
Then, the focus is pretty much the ‘aftermath’. I would like to argue that it is the immediate aftermath because, without therapy, most of the impact remains (even if it is subconscious). Little Johnny may never, ever, want to drive.
Yes, the shock or dissociation during or immediately after the event might be addressed, but what happens when it is not immediately after?
We can carry acute trauma for longer than we might like to admit.
Chapter 2: KATE
Fast forward to three years after the accident. Little Johnny’s parents are continuously trying to make ends meet and pay out their mortgage. His mom, exhausted from the financial strain, has to work overtime just to keep the household afloat. Little Johnny’s sister, Kate, steps into the role of primary caretaker, shouldering responsibilities beyond her years.
Amid the everyday chaos, mom and dad are consumed by the pressing demands of their physical to-do list, leaving little room for the emotional needs - their own and their children’s.
The household of parental love that the children were accustomed to has been forced to become fueled with an atmosphere of indifference.
The parents, overwhelmed by their seemingly endless struggle, reach a breaking point.
Their decision to divorce shatters the stability that Kate desperately clung to.
On the surface, it does not sound like an event as catastrophic as the car crash that little Johnny witnesses.
But it marks the beginning of Kate’s encounter with complex trauma.
The exposure was not a single traumatic incident but the persistent absence of emotional security, like a slow leak draining her sense of safety.
Complex trauma, or ‘type 2’
That is the one we usually get really stuck in.
It is one of the repetitive ones of this nasty bunch.
The ‘type 2’ label indicates that the trauma affects early development, childhood experience or the care you have (not) received.
Prolonged exposure, prolonged manifestation.
The exposure is the ‘persistence’ of the trauma - namely, for how long were these traumatic stressors endured?
Kate’s trauma extends over the years, marked by enduring emotional neglect and constant reshuffling of family dynamics.
The manifestation is the so-called ‘cumulative impact’ - namely, for how long will the effects accumulate over time, and where will they lead?
As the assumed caretaker, one highly probable effect is that Kate won’t know her needs. At all. But she will be highly attuned to other people’s needs.
Simply put, a people pleaser.
Another cumulative impact could be difficulty forming deep connections and trust in others. Relationships have become a source of anxiety for Kate, where the weight that she carries from her formative years becomes a deep-rooted sense of low self-worth.
While little Johnny’s trauma is a sudden collision, Kate’s complex trauma is a gradual erosion of emotional support, leaving her emotionally bruised and struggling with a distorted sense of self.
It got quite dark quickly, eh?
Chapter 3: BOB
Following the divorce of the parents, and the failure to secure a house for the family-of-5, mom makes the difficult decision to relocate with the kids to a suburb.
While the bills are lower, the stressors are higher.
As bulky and resilient as the oldest sibling is, Bob quickly becomes the protector of the siblings in this neighbourhood of persistent violence and economic hardship.
With his broad shoulders and unwavering determination, he becomes the shield against the harsh realities of their surroundings.
Picture a typical day for Bob.
Outside of his home, he walks through the neighbourhood where the echoes of past violent incidents still linger.
Inside his home, the economic struggles of his family create a constant atmosphere of tension. He knows, each of their neighbours breathes the same turmoil.
The exposure to these conditions is like living on a battlefield, where safety is a rare commodity.
Chronic trauma
Complex trauma has a cousin, Chronic trauma. (another repetitive one in the nasty bunch!).
For your convenience, let’s call Complex Trauma - Kate’s, and Chronic: Bob’s.
While Kate’s trauma happens in developmental periods of life, Bob’s trauma exceeds that time frame or happens outside of it.
While Kate’s trauma is mostly interpersonal (and toys with self-identity), Bob’s trauma comes from the external conditions of the environment.
Bob-from-the-story’s trauma stems from prolonged exposure to external, adverse conditions, creating a backdrop of stress and instability.
His manifestations may include hypervigilance and anxiety.
While Kate’s trauma can tick many boxes of traumatic events, Bob’s trauma may run deep but stem from a single event.
Think of Bob’s chronic trauma as acute trauma that is repeated.
Unlike little Johnny’s acute trauma, Bob’s experiences are not confined to a single incident but are woven into the very fabric of his daily life.
Bob’s trauma is not a sudden collision but a persistent storm that has shaped his worldview. While he is challenged to envision a life beyond the external turmoil he has grown accustomed to, Kate’s complex trauma is a deep challenge in emotional, mental and physical regulation (namely, the inner world).
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Until we make a conscious choice.
In your journey, remember that you hold the pen to your story.
You have a choice - a choice to let the echoes of trauma dictate your path. Or to embrace yourself with compassion and resilience.
By acknowledging the impact of your experiences and seeking support (thank you for being here!), you empower yourself to shape a narrative of strength, growth and renewal.
Being here is a testament to your courage.
Eternally grateful for your presence,
Katrin