The concept of self-love and I didn’t quite mesh, to be honest.
I like to think of my Self as a progression - from the curious-eyed baby, the playful toddler, the reading girl, the confused adolescent, to the woman who made herself the best cup of coffee on March 4th.
This distinction was of big help at the beginning of my journey towards self-love: because even if I was not my biggest fan at the moment, the girl in me needed unconditional love.
The unconditional love that only I can provide her with.
My biggest pitfall was (and occasionally still is) self-criticism.
As I reflect on it now, it seems absurd.
I was diving into the deep waters of self-improvement and personal growth, of healing and forgiveness, of grief and inner child dynamics, of boundaries and love. Yet, at the end of the day, I was like a drowning human desperately looking for something as small as a straw to cling to and save myself from sinking.
Why do you think one of my first pieces of self-love was in fact about shutting your self-critic up?
I would berate myself for not practising the boundaries I had just read about.
I would belittle myself for not nurturing the little kid within me.
I would resent my grief for the things that I couldn’t change.
I would constantly downplay my progress.
I would hate myself for not loving myself.
I would do everything except love myself.
Until one day, I said, “Enough is enough!”.
Regrettably, I cannot attribute this existential epiphany to myself but rather to my seborrheic dermatitis (you don’t need to Google it, but trust me when I say that it is one of the most uncomfortable conditions - your body being covered in red, flaky spots that make you cut your nails too short so you don’t end up tearing your skin off).
The first question I asked myself was “Will I be the one causing myself pain?”
My “normal” self would have chastised me for the self-inflicted pain and would have scorned me for reaching this obvious question (and answer) the hard way but instead, I chose to ask:
How can I love myself a little more today?
You don’t need to prepare any revolutionary acts, just ask yourself:
How can I love myself a little more today?
How can I show myself this love a little more today?
Answer these questions every day. Every morning.
Because the answers that your Self will provide will be different.
Stop hitting snooze on yourself.
Don’t wait for the autoimmune disease to hit so you reach the importance of these two questions.
The smallest acts of self-love can be the revolutionary impact that your self-worth needs.
Give yourself a little more love today,
Katrin